The Thread to Brag About Being Naughty at School


#1

This is quite simple. Let’s all talk about all the horrible things we did to our teachers and classmates at school. I am sure we all have an entertaining story that we are not proud of to share.

One of my favorites was putting a drawing pin like this on my very boring physics teacher’s stool. He was a terrible teacher who liked his own jokes more than teaching, so we thought it would be fun to “prank” him.

Anyway, he sat on it perfectly, but to our disappointment, he didn’t jump up screaming in pain and surprise. We soon found out why, when he turned around to write something or other on the board and there it was, stuck in just the right place.

I didn’t get away with it: the gales of laughter of course provoked an investigation and I got dobbed in and put on yet another school report which went on forever because the same teacher kept giving me mean, bad-buyer style reviews every lesson I had with him, which extended the report.

Still worth it, though.


#2

That’s tame. We made our teachers lives a living misery. One we locked in a supply cupboard where she was stuck for the weekend. Another we heard a rumor that she had breast cancer. The very naughty kids would, therefore, raise arms to ask questions, before saying: “Err Miss, is it true you’ve got a wooden ti…?”

By far my worst bad was making prank calls on my mobile. During the foot and mouth crisis, I phoned the mother of a kid we didn’t like who lived on a farm. I pretended to be an official from DEFRA and said we were coming round later to kill and burn all her animals.

I also had the phone number for the payphone next to the Eiffel Tower and would call that to swear in French at whoever answered.

Other than that, it was all the usual stuff. Setting fire to peoples work in science using Bunsen Burners. Pouring coke on peoples seats after they came back from a bathroom break. That kind of thing.


#3

Of course it’s tame. I’m just building up to a lovely crescendo of chaos here. Although now you mention prank calls, me and one of my friends used to call up those late night “chat lines” for which gentlemen had to pay a premium and women got to chat for free.

Needless to say, there were many men who I wouldn’t describe as gentlemen on those lines, but we had a jolly good time annoying them with our bird mating calls, hot-and-cold double acts, and generally just seeing how much of their time and money we could waste before they stopped what they were (probably) doing to shout at us.

Not quite school related, although sometimes we’d do it at school. Our school lab once exploded in a hydrogen experiment gone wrong when I was in class at the time. I got away unscatched, but the teacher and several pupils in front of me had to be ambulanced away for glass in the face and neck. Quite lucky for me, considering I had refused to do the experiment as it was “lame” and was staring out a window at the back dreaming of being anywhere else at the time. See? Being a truculent child paid off on that one!


#4

I would call it I had a cycle, in which first I was bullied - and then I become the bully. After realizing how bad I was, I become an introvert.

The story starts when I came back from the US. Everyone imagined me as being a rich kid, with a lot of money, but that wasn’t the case. I didn’t like to hang out with many people, only with a couple of friends which I liked. People started labeling me - and I was bullied a lot. This was in elementary school.

I was being chased by a horde of classmates trying to beat the :poop: out of me. They were stealing my shoes in gym class, they were making fun of me 'cause I wore cheap Chinese brand shoes, that I had just a couple of clothes… and you know the usual stuff people are being bullied for. Things got pretty nasty, as I did something bad because of the pressure I was feeling. Things escalated, a lot of kids went to the principal, the school psychologist, it was a total mess. This was in sixth grade. After that, I started hanging out with the worst possible kids in my area, as they were the only bunch that accepted me as a friend.

With those bad guys, we did a lot of stupid things - which some of them are kinda crime-y.

Fast forward to high school. As I already knew what happens, I started being an :peach: thus turning into a bully. There was a kid in my class, that used to have a unibrow and always looked tired. Guess what, I gave him a couple of nicknames such as the zombie, the birdie, Hermes. I was constantly attacking him, making fun of him in front of anyone. Then, I started doing the same things to other kids which were introverted. The teachers didn’t believe that I did something bad as that (because I was an active member of the Peace & Solidarity club of the school). During the summer break, I realized how bad was that, so I become an introvert.

Except those, I always did prank calls, ringing the doorbells and running, stealing fruits from neighbors’ backyards. You know, the usual drill.


#5

I kind of remember also doing this. (We called the call girl lines to be adolescent perverts.) One thing me and my friend Dave would also do, is text the looking for love singles in the local paper.

Usually, we flirted a bit before dropping “so, do you worry about how hard it is meting people looking like you do?” However, I’m pretty sure my friend Dave lost his virginity to one of them eventually.

The one thing I got in major trouble for at school was skiving (playing truant). We got away with it for years. However, we got a bit cocky. We’d turn up in the morning, get marked as present on the register, then go off on an adventure. In the end we got caught out by our maths teacher who’s class we were skipping one day in a local bakery buying a chip butty.

After that, the whole school went on lock down. They didn’t even let any of us go out for lunch anymore.

In fairness, problems like unibrows start with the parents. If I ever have a child who looks like the stereotypical school odd boy, I’ll be quick to start him on a grooming and exercise regimen to make him a normal. (And up his confidence.)

I got bullied in school to an extent. I had really bad acne for a long time. I made this worse by using a spot cream full of peroxide which dyed my fringe greeny blonde. I literally looked like a giant moldy zit.

Thankfully, my group of friends kind of fell together by all having different levels of fugly disability. My best friend had buck teeth so we called him shin pads. Others in my group were either fat, similarly acne beleaguered, or had something along those lines.


#6

You’re right. Probably, his parents were divorcing at the time. I have really no clue, except that he was going through a tough period which I made it even worse for him.

He is a good friend to me now, by the way. I have apologized for making his first year of high school a living :fire: for him.

The days before Tinder was a thing!


#7

Ah, bullies.

I wouldn’t have classified myself as a bully, but in retrospect taking a picture of someone sleeping (it was a very unattractive shot - mouth open etc.) then plastering copies of it on boards around school with Sleeping Beauty written underneath it may not have been my kindest or greatest moment. She was very upset, I was duly punished, protesting my innocence with “It was just a joke!”

Which I suppose is a bit of a bully’s excuse, but we were friends, so I felt more offended that she couldn’t (etc) at the time. Oh, and then there was the time I wrote a love letter composed entirely of whatever love lyrics were in popular songs at the time - to someone who was widely believed to be the fugliest kid in school. That went down like a lead balloon, too, and was also a joke.

I did get bullied myself early on, but blossomed into a class clown/troublemaker which put a stop to most of it (and may go some what to explaining the above two incidents). That, along with an incident that involved me losing the plot over being called “pancake [bodypart]” and throwing the nearest thing available at the insulter and almost taking his eye out. That earned me a little rep too.

School is really quite feral when you think about it. It’s like Lord of the Flies with adults barely keeping a grip on it all.

@TheFreaky I had a school psychotherapist as well! They were desperately trying to work out why such a nice and intelligent girl was such a horror to teach (he got nowhere, I got out of math lessons = win).

Anyway, I have a theory that most people who are bullied at some point go on to be bullies themselves, even if it’s just a little bit. All that misery and anger just gets passed on down the line a little bit.

P.S. My pancakes are now stacked, thanks for asking.


#8

I would agree but not at the same time. Humans are just pack animals. Everyone gets put in place by an alpha at some point, and everyone is genetically programmed to try and become the alpha.

My experience of school was that the alpha males and females in the first couple of years, became ultimate betas by the time the whole ordeal was over. At the same time, most of the kids who started out as beta males and females, ended on a high of being something like alphas.

I was bullied for a while by a kid who was considered the school bully. However. I ended up snapping one day in the middle of a lesson, picked up my chair and started smashing him with it. He tried to run away but I followed him out (with the chair) onto this patch of grass outside and finished it by throwing at him.

I should have got a super telling off after that, but all the teachers later told me “we’re not supposed to say this, but sometimes you do need to give them a good thump,” while giving me winks and pats on the back.

After that, I never really had any problems, and when I think of it, the kids at school who ended up leaving being just as introvert as when they entered, kind of lost out by not having their own snapping / Falling Down moment.

By the way…

2u6du1


#9

I think that if you were bullied, and you can’t stand it anymore, you would turn into a bully as a kind of armor to protect your self. At least that’s why I used to bully kids in my first year of high school. It was just so I won’t get bullied.

I have snapped many times. This was in sixth grade when a girl stole my school kit (she was either childhood sweetheart or something to the guy bullying me the most) and threw it in the garbage bin. I did something I am not proud of, however, after that things escalated - and I was never bullied again in elementary.

I have gotten in two fights in high school too. In one of those, I was throwing chalk with some classmates - and it accidentally somehow manage to get into the lunch of a different classmate. He started fighting with me, he caught me off guard. When we played basketball during gym class, he was always committing flagrant fouls whenever I was on the drive or trying to do finish a layup.

The second one was in 10th grade. When I become an introvert, the group which I bullied kids with started being harsh with me - so I got into a fight with one of those kids. After the fight, my eye got swollen. We both got punished.

Oh, there is a third situation. Our gym professor was grading our volleyball skills, and he assigned me to (serve?) the ball - so other classmates can show their moves. So, one of the classmates keeps saying that I suck - and he can’t do the moves because of me. I threw the ball with full-force to his head. That guy never said anything bad to me anymore.


#10

I approve of this, and I would have been following you with oohs and aahs of delight with each insane crack of the chair (and gossiped about it for days afterwards, of course). See, they learn their lesson when you beat them up and the teachers basically say, “Well, it serves you right, Robert, for bullying. Perhaps you’ll think about that next time you [teacher stuff]”

Of course, this is a very different kind of snapping to collecting a small arsenal of guns and going full Rambo. That’s insane and tragic on all sorts of different levels. What makes it sad for me is that so often the bully (would have) likely gone on to live a dull life of quiet misery while the victim potentially had the chance to come back as a Silicon Valley billionaire - or other major success - and rub it in their faces, as seen in various entirely realistic Hollywood movies.

I think my psycho ruler moment got pretty much the same reaction, despite being the one thing I did that really could have had a lifelong impact on my (deserving, I felt, at the time) victim. Bit of a tricky tightrope for teachers to walk, especially with furious parents either side about the appalling lack of control of (etc).

PSA: Those are donuts. Everyone, Cy is an idiot who can’t tell the difference between pancakes and donuts and neither can his mum, who doesn’t even know you’re meant to eat them not wear them! No wonder he’s so fugly!


#11

When we are talking about pancakes - and such stuff. Once I peeled a tangerine in a shape of the “p” thing, that we can’t say - and after that I have placed it behind the teacher’s desk. When she got into the classroom, she immediately threw it away.


#12

Did she make a fuss? Success if she made a fuss, failure if she was smart and just threw it away.


#13

Oh, sadly she was smart. I hoped that she would make a fuss though.


#14

Maybe in Greece that’s what you think a donut is, but I assure you, they are pancakes.

I’m guessing by your lack of culinary knowledge on this matter, you were brought up in a poor household wallpapered in 10 stripe adidas trouser knock offs, and feed millimeter thick Brummy pancakes which are technically crepes, and not donuts or pancakes by any length of the imagination. :wink:


#15

It’s always disappointing when they’re smart. You didn’t put in the hard work of making a fun-size rude orange peel just for it to be thrown away. I would have at least wanted horror at the dreadful morals of the youth today.


#16

Your pancakes look like donuts, end of. Look at the left hoho: due to the magic of optical hoho illusion, it looks like a hole, and to the unsuspecting Euro crepe-enjoyer, it does, in fact, look like gauche new world attempt at donut innuendo. Aside from the cooking, you’re also tragically wrong with the rest of your vile bullying, I am telling on you.

My dad is a black belt in karate and also a policeman, so you better watch out. He’ll get you and he’ll put you in jail for 100 years. Because he’s a policeman. After he beats you up. Because he’s a black belt. In karate. He once beat up Bruce Lee and he DIED.


#17

Hah, had he beat up Chuck Norris?


#18

Yes but he kept Chuck Norris alive because his movies are OK and also all of the things Chuck Norris does in those movies are things that my Dad taught him because my Dad is really hard and killed Bruce Lee and he told Chuck Norris that he wouldn’t kill him if he listened to my Dad and made all his killer moves into the movies because my Dad is the deadliest man in the universe and your Dad is probably a wimp so there haha.

EDIT: I can’t do this anymore


#19

Is your dad Mr. Value?


#20

My Dad is actually Bill Gates’ best friend and gets hot stock tips all the time. I’m writing to you from my 200-meter long yacht off the coast of Santorini. Dad paid for it, of course - it only cost $1 billion dollars with all the exclusive extras. Like a pancake-donut differentiation machine.