So catty is out, then? It’s good that you didn’t name yourself after dogs though, there’s a massive open goal there
My name is Locusta.
Please welcome me to your forum, experts, for I am a new and interesting person who is probably better and more beautiful than you. It’s in your best interests, as you will see:
I am an ancient Roman poisoness par excellence specializing in regicide - my resume. I chose this name after a writer - who shall not be named - kept telling people about his external and internal ‘locusts*’ while bragging about how amazing and awesome he was at investing and his overall sub-par writing skills, as is his deeply tedious and egomaniac wont. He ded now tho, and by his own hand, too.
Also, because it gives me an appropriate air of menace befitting my status.
Likes: poisoning people who look at me a bit funny, saying mean things to people I don’t like while plotting their downfall, botany, and adding garum to everything. I have also adapted to the modern world by getting down, hep and fankay with your sci-fi technology - still waiting for the development of ‘scratch and sniff’ online tech so I can continue my life’s work.
Dislikes: Carthage, antidotes, being flogged by crazy fat people, not getting my own way, the ever-increasing plant extinction rate destroying my greatest hits.
Summary: Easily annoyed, best not. Can sometimes be fun at parties when allowed to add some experimental ‘fun powder’ to the wine. Powder description may not be accurate.
NB: Some of the above may be lies. However, at least one fun fact is true. As a Roman trained in the arts of murder and intrigue, I reveal nothing… until it’s too late.
*He meant locus/loci.