I feel like I am at a crossroads. When I started writing, I did so for two reasons. First, I wanted (as far as creative writing goes) to leave a kind of cultural mark on the world after I am gone. It sounds corny, but my inspiration for trying to write creatively were books like Ulysses by James Joice, 1984, Dr. Zhivago, and War and Peace.
I loved how you could sample the political, cultural, and everyday atmosphere of a bygone age by reading a book.
Sadly, trying to write a good book doesn’t pay the bills. In this case, I started blogging and writing for hire. Blogging fo me always seems to end in disaster. I can do the writing and media creation side. What I can’t do is navigate and keep up with the technical nuances of managing my own website. Just doing that can be a full-time job.
Because of the above, (though while trying to persevere with my current website) I’ve been dabbling with writing on topics on third-party sites. More specifically, I’ve been writing about topics of personal interest. My latest was an objective comparison between high incidences of transgender kids, and how to me, a lot of cases look like evidence of Munchhausen by Proxy Syndrome.
Sadly, my post was removed from the site I published it on in less than 12-hours. I’m also now banned. I’ve also had some answers on Quora removed concerning my interpretation of the current situation in Hong Kong.
To me, it seems like there is now a clear distinction between allowed discourse online and non-allowed discourse online, especially when it comes to social media.
At my core, I feel outraged by this and I want to fight it. However, my logical brain says, “this is also the surest way to get poor fast.” - i.e. I could get doxxed and someone could complain to the freelance platforms I work on.
Of course, I could create anonymous social media accounts and use a pseudonym if and when I publish on third-party sites online. However, this would still (possibly) see me doxxed eventually.
At present, I’m edging toward just self-censoring and not writing on topics which I feel personally passionate about. However, I feel like this undermines my legitimacy as a writer. For example, I used to be a huge Bitcoin fanboy. Now my personal opinion is that cryptocurrency is… Well, inherently evil.
It kind if becomes a question of, ‘To write, or not to write.’ And I’m having trouble coming to a compromise. If I started writing because I had dreams of one day recording a lasting memory of the age I live in, aren’t I selling out just by writing what people want to read?
I’m also frustrated by the fact that we have even come to this point. With this in mind, am I the only one who sees the present as very dangerous from a freedom of expression point of view?