Let's Play a Game: What Would Your Best Pitch as a Scammer Be?

I just received one of those messages which you just know isn’t going to result in anything but a total waste of time.


I have a very interesting proposition for you…

Really? If it’s that interesting, why can’t you spit it out?

I then realized when looking through my email spam folder, that almost all scammers fail for one simple reason. — Basically, they lack imagination.

Why would Natalie Portman be sending me a personal link to a folder of dirty photos? She never accepted mine. Why would the IMF’s Christine Lagard want to deposit a million dollars in my bank account? How did I never realize I have related to the sovereign ruler of a very wealthy African nation, who has now left me a hefty inheritance?

All the scammer pitches I ever recieve are eye-rollingly boring and unbelieveable. In this case, I thought I’d start a game to see who can come up with a pitch which at least is a little bit more original.

I don’t have one myself yet, but don’t let that stop you from going first.

Let the games commence!

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I seem to be getting al the email ones at the mo:
We’ve seen your webcam footage, here’s part of an old password you used, send me lots of Bitcoins to keep me quiet
Here’s your invoice attached.
You’ve got a parcel which couldn’t be delivered - click the link to arrange re-delivery.

My favourite ones are the phone based ones:
The latest is ‘Your internet’s being cut off because you’ve done something illegal. Please press 1 so we can empty your bank account’.

I’m with TalkTalk - they’ve had so many data breaches it’s not funny. If anyone phones up claiming to be from them, I attempt to make them go through their security details - it’s only fair - they do it to me if I phone them. They keep refusing to give me their date of birth and put the phone down. Now they know how it feels!

I think the phone ones are becoming more imaginative - the only way around it is just not to answer any calls, which kind of defeats the purpose of having a phone to begin with. :wink:


I’m not sharing my top scamming tips! They’re too lucrative to share! Although I did Google ‘best scams’ and this came up. It’s quite amusing - good website overall, too (but if does have some bad words in it so if you’re under 18 please do not click this link otherwise you will be corrupted for life):


Working from this template, I believe we can all become master scammers. Which is completely unethical and not something that I would advocate at all, obviously.

However, as you can see, the average Fiverr scammer has no idea what they are doing when compared to the above. Although they touch on one or some of the points noted in the above article, it all falls apart when they can’t find a copy-paste template and have to resort to their own ingenuity.

Usually, it results in something pathetic like that dropbox scam (‘plz check this phishy-looking link’) with a link that doesn’t feature dropbox in it anywhere, and an unfortunate user location in Nigeria. I was going to screenshot it, but the message was RIP’d as was the braniac behind it. :frowning:


Reminds me of the famous urgent message:

Hello, I have something really urgent to tell you. Please call me @ ##### or email me @ …

If it was really that urgent, they could’ve just written it as part of that very same message :roll_eyes:

And looking back, that’s the exact emoji I’ve used in this post!

You, too? :smiley:

Anyway… in my country there’s a very common scam that people fall for about 80% of the time :smirk: You basically get a phone call from someone pretending to be your son / daughter / husband / wife, crying and blabbering rapidly through a piece of cloth (this is critical to not get caught having another voice), telling you how they had an accident and that they need a large sum of money urgently transferred to their credit card to pay for the expensive surgery at the distant hospital they’re being taken to.

I can’t even count how many of these cases I’ve seen on the TV news :roll_eyes: And I’m talking thousands of euros stolen / case :no_mouth:

It’s a really sick scam, putting people through so many false emotions, fear, panic…

P.S. I don’t have a scammer pitch since I can’t lower myself to such a low level - believe me I’ve tried, but it’s like I’m having a mental block or smth… I lack such genius creativity.


Well, that’s a relief!

All this time, I thought someone had hacked my webcam. Or at least, I would have if I hadn’t physically removed it years ago. :wink: That Bitcoin scam is quite clever, though. I’d also like to know who is running it, as I’m pretty sure the original incarnation of it was being run by 2 Iranians, who the CIA nabbed.

Or of course, it could just be the British government. AGAIN…


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We have something similar here, an SMS scam, with the text something like “Hey, it’s me, my phone battery is empty so I’m using a friend’s phone, please send me $$ to FirstName LastName via PostNet”.

They became a bit smarter with that one, too; at first they’ve been asking for larger sums of money, but now they ask for small amounts, I guess that someone might panic and immediately send it without too much thinking because it’s not that much.


Well, I get the IRS scam call quite a bit, especially during tax season. It’s usually the typical you owe us money, we are going to arrest you, immediately call back at this number, do not ignore this call, blah, blah, blah - - I may or may not understand everything they are saying.

I got a call once that I won $10,000 in a lottery that I or a friend entered me at a shopping mall. :roll_eyes: Yeah, right! Not.

I get the your bank account has been hacked email all the time - except they use the wrong email address to send it to me. I changed my email to all my private accounts a long time ago and apparently I forgot to tell the scammers what my new email is - shame on me - How could I forget such a thing! :angry:

I did get a call once for someone named Renee or something to that effect. Apparently, her car is being possessed for non payment. They wanted her to stand by with her boss when they stopped by the next day so they can serve the papers.

I really felt bad for Renee but I don’t know who she is so couldn’t warn her. Besides, why would any legitimate company involve anyone’s boss at work? Their work has nothing to do with personal matters. I guess it’s just a tactic to embarrass the person.


I got that one, too!

Are we naughty, or what? :rofl: