I’m really sorry, i have been on a series of writing negative posts lately, but i can’t really help it. I’ll probably delete this one as well.
So yeah, it’s currently 11:00pm. I don’t feel like sleeping so i thought to write about my issues and problems. Not that i’m awaiting a response from anyone, but i just like to write it down. It makes me feel relieved a little bit. I don’t have anyone to write to, to be honest. That’s why i write on Gina’s forum. I’m always that “funny” guy around my friends that i feel talking about situations like this isn’t part of who i am anymore. And they probably won’t understand me either.
Anyway, back to why i’m already writing this. I have been feeling like crap lately. Not for the past days, but the past months. I don’t have the energy to do anything. I have been literally screwing everything i possibly could in my life. I’m failing at school, i’m not working enough or generating an income, both my mental and physical health are at the complete bottom & i can’t even keep in contact with my friends.
I don’t even understand how this all happened in just a glimpse. I feel like i’m nowhere, my life is a mess and i keep blaming myself about it. I keep trying to get it together but after all my efforts, there is nothing changing. Literally, nothing. I keep pushing myself to the limit hoping for change but i end up feeling down by the results and burnt out
I started having thoughts about going to a therapist but i don’t want to start this conversation with my family as they already have enough to deal with.
Sorry for the negativity, this will be the last one, i promise. Goodnight.
Gina feel free to delete my post anytime if it might cause any harm to the forum.
@JoeKamel - I have edited the title a bit, so we don’t use any bad words. Change any word that might be inappropriate in your original topic - that way this topic would be cool for @RegiAdd.
However, in my opinion, your thread is on point. Many of our peers - freelancers, authors, and creative individuals feel worn out or as you mentioned earlier - they feel like .
I had the same problem a while ago. A great bunch consisted of pretty much everyone on this forum helped me out (we had a private chat on Fiverr). Raz gave me a great suggestion. His suggestion was to do pick up some creative hobby, that would keep me away from work. I’ve decided to start assembling lego Bionicle robots. It didn’t last too long, but after that, the spring came. During springtime, you can do a lot of other hobbies. I started cycling, running, hiking, going on long walks - and pretty much everything you can imagine. Find something that would fulfill you.
Of course, who am I to be kidding. If you have read some of the older posts here. I had a similar topic. In my case, studying kills me mentally.
Let’s get back to helping you. I’ve got health issues (overworking stress) from constantly juggling between work, school, and social life. It took me two full months to fully recover. Do something, before it gets too late. Take a rest, plan your day, build a schedule which would be structured to find the perfect balance between all of the things that are going on with your life.
Lastly, when you start earning, create a fund for a vacation. At the end of the school year, take a long break to recharge your batteries. It’s important to take a break to recover. NEVER, I MEAN NEVER forget that you should do fun stuff which aren’t work related.
Yep, when I first met Freaky he was very down and nervous I think. A few of us invited him to our PM because he looked like a cool guy. The first thing he did was attach a picture of the real Freaky. Oh my, I do not think I was the only one who thought, “Wow, he is young.” I had thought he was at least in his late 20’s before I saw the real image of him.
As Freak said he was very down, and he worked his way out of it, so take some of his advice and hopefully you will benefit too. Also, do not count your parents out as part of your support system.
Here we have school counselors, do they have those where you go to school?
We (most of the people here now) can always start a PM here if that would help you feel more at ease talking with us. Your language could be more colorful there too.
Just part of getting older I’m afraid. Most people won’t admit it, but life as actually quite horrendous. I’d guess that at present, you are feeling burnt out because you feel like there is a pressing expectation at present, for you to magically become someone successful. An academic, a professional, an entrepreneur, etc. Worse, it seems like everyone around you has it sorted.
Because you don’t have your life plan in the bag, you are internalizing this to mean that there is something wrong with you. Your low energy, therefore, likely stems from a growing sense of depression which has germinated out of a sense of failure and possible panic concerning the idea of being left behind by the world.
The good news is that you are perfectly fine and perfectly normal. The bad news is that there is no magical solution. All you can reasonably do now is reduce every problem you have to its most basic level and maybe start to accept that your future doesn’t have to be decided yet.
When I was about your age, I bought the sense of urgency that certain societal boxes had to be ticked by a certain time. However, I also went crazy trying to satisfy the world’s expectations. I was the only person among my peers at university who had to work as well as study. This meant traveling home every weekend to work in a local petrol station. However, this became unsustainable.
My home life was far from ideal. My mother had been having an affair with her then boyfriends boss from work, and another guy who was the father of an idiot from my school days.
This meant that on the weekends, I’d have said idiot pull up on the forecourt of the petrol station where I worked and shout "your mam’s a s@*g!" (Which was very embarrassing.) Then after work, I’d have my mother try to address the awkwardness of having a strange man living in the house with us, by calling me and my sisters rude for constantly trying to avoid eye contact. This would spill over into long rants about how I was an adult now and if I didn’t like how things were, I could find somewhere else to live.
Needless to say, all this got very stressful. I started calling in sick for work to not have to face going home. I couldn’t afford to do that, though. In this case, I ended up moving in with an old friend in a different city which was cheaper to live in rent wise. This though, just made things crazier.
My friend’s dad had bought him a dilapidated house and give him a chunk of money to renovate it and turn it into student accommodation. The only problem was that my friend had blown most of the money. This meant that there was no heating or hot water, and most of the windows were broken. Eventually, my friend ran off with a new girlfriend he’d found in an old Ford Fiesta. This left me alone in a house in a strange city, which by this time didn’t even have electricity because the bills hadn’t been paid.
I realized by this time, that there was no way I could finish university. Literally, my last £19 in the world was spent on bus rides to take my end of year exams. After that, there was just me, an empty half-derelict house, and an outlook of complete poverty. Moreover, once you have sunk that low, it’s pretty much impossible to pick yourself up.
I couldn’t get a job as I couldn’t afford a haircut or anything presentable enough to wear to an interview. I couldn’t afford food or cigarettes and life was just miserable with no way out. However, I did keep hold of this one single thought that I still had air. As long as I had that, I couldn’t just pop out of existence and, therefore, life logically had to continue and logically, it could not get any worse.
Long story short, things did miraculously get better. There was the small matter of someone trying to murder me and the house I lived in burning down in between then and when it did. However, a year later I was living a completely different life on the other side of the world in New Zealand.
For several years after that, life was pretty good. However, I was forced to start pretty much from scratch all over again a few years ago when me and my ex broke up. I’d even go so far as to say that it was harder mentally the second time. I got through it though, by employing the same “well, I still have air” logic as I did the first time.
It sounds to me like you are killing yourself with worry over the fact that you might be about to fail at school, aren’t earning enough money, and don’t really know what direction to follow in life in general. Possibly, you are also making things even more stressful for yourself, by trying to deal with everything at once. - Put simply, stop worrying about it all.
Do your best at school. If you fail, you fail, but you will not pop out of existence
If you can afford to, forget about freelancing for a while and if you need to, get some kind of basic regular job
Remember that your basic needs are food, water, and shelter. Provide for them first and you will be fine
Most importantly of all, relax. Take every day as it comes and stop trying to do everything at once. Your future will happen and will likely be much brighter than you presently imagine. You just need to focus on the small things before you stess yourself out over the big things.
I’m sorry I haven’t been around much lately. It’s been kinda crazy at work.
To start, your post is perfectly fine. I have no problem with you ranting about life. Feel free to express yourself and ask for help.
The weird thing about life is that sometimes family are the last people that understand us. I think maybe it’s because they think they know us, or maybe because we think we know them. It’s easier to ralk to strangers than family.
Depression, stress and life are the most difficult to talk about. I’ve had a horrendous childhood, full of physical & mental abuse. I never knew how much it affected me until recently. I suggest you not wait until you’re older to talk to a therapist, but do it now.
I don’t know your situation, but I do know that * understanding * it will help you better deal with it. It did for me.
It truly takes guts and strength to ask for help. Asking for help is hard - if it was easy, everyone would do it.
I always thought about jogging. But jogging in Egypt, for my age, might get me kidnapped, picked on by some street bullies or perhaps hit by a car. My second thought was to head to the gym. I’ve read a couple of articles about how working out not only improves your health but also makes you happier…in a way. So i might actually consider that but Gym memberships in Egypt are pretty expensive. I’ll save for one tho!
Kinda but they don’t really care about situations like this.
Thank you, Vickie. I actually love this forum to a point that i literally check it everyday like 3 or 4 times. I might not write anything or contribute, but i’m usually checking it on my phone. And it’s all thanks to @RegiAdd for getting us together.
I’l be awaiting for the day where i’ll find your name and picture in the next Tedx talk. It would be such a win for Tedx, Just sayin’. Thank you Cy for the great wise advice, as usual. I usually feel like you basically understand me. Even if i’m unable to express that in words, you still get me right.
That’s so correct! I just feel like it will be a weird/embarrassing discussion where no one is going to understand the other.
Anyways, thank you all for the words. I was feeling worn out as Freaky added because i always give everything my best effort but when i look at the results, it’s just not what i have been doing. For example, my last term which ended a couple of weeks ago. I was busting myself off studying for many hours each day and the results were just not what i even had in mind. Then things started evolving from there and here we are.